Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Still Seeking














Wow. So, much research has been done on the stages of grief. I would be curious to know the “Stages of a Race” and how they vary from person to person. So far, for me anyway, its seems the first stage is: Eager Anticipation. Followed by: Confidence. Then: Over Confidence. Next: Deep Seated Insecurity. Now: Seeking Balance.

Geez. What’s next.? I’ve come to terms with my strengths and limitations – at least for now. I’m looking forward to just racing on Sunday, results be damned – at least for now. It seems my confidence is returning though it’s still somewhat shaky and tempered by reality.

I think ultimately, this simultaneous relentlessness and inclusiveness is what attracts me to triathlon. Anyone can do this – if they put in the training. And sometimes the training will bring you to your knees. It will build you up then tear you down again – if you let it be your only gauge of self-worth. If you define success with a narrow scope and allow too much to depend on that success, it will eat you alive. On the flip side, if you allow the training and the experiences along the way to shape you, to teach you, and to nurture you, it will make more of you than you ever thought possible. It’s a little like hiking in the mountains. Go in prepared and with a healthy respect and reverence for the elements and all the inherent dangers they hold, and you will come away richer in body, mind and spirit. If you go in with nothing but hubris and the arrogant desire to shape the mountain to your own design, you will be lucky to come away with your life. Like the mountain, triathlon can be a patient, merciful, and encouraging teacher if you give it the respect it deserves – and not allow any individual aspect of it to dominate who you think you are. Like any brutal truth, what you learn and what you gain entirely depends on you and your willingness to humble yourself and allow yourself to be filled with what you did not know before.

7 comments:

21stCenturyMom said...

Very well said - as always.

Prepare to ride the emotional rollers a couple more times in the next few days and then to find yourself at waters edge with serious butterflies. But it's all a great journey and you are not defined by your numbers. You are hereby defined as a a brave, strong, well trained person ready to explore a new horizon.

Go Larissa!

Rural Girl said...

OMG, you are sooo on with your 'Stages of Racing' theory. You should do a study. To me, that's part of the greatness of triathlon, or racing in general; the emotional, highs and lows.

Bolder said...

let me quote AJ, on the last two stages:

terror

and

omg, omg, OMG, OMG, OMG!

if this was easy, everyone would be doing it...

but they are NOT, and you WILL!

ZappoMan said...

Pyro,

Saw you posted on my buddy Phil's blog... and so I had to check out your blog.

WOW! I'm digging it.

I love The Cult too! And you picked one of my favorite Cult songs...

Anyway good luck on your FTE... I remember my FTE, and nervous nervous nervous nervous and nervous were all the emotions I went through.

My STE (second) was even worse, but that's a whole other story...

Jane said...

I wanted to be the first blogger to use the word "hubris" but you beat me to it! I'm in the DENIAL stage of racing - I don't really believe it's in...FOUR DAYS! We'll be fine (deep breath).

Phil Sabin said...

Phoenix - I like the new header...

Phil

jeanne said...

the stages of a race remind me of what i go thru every morning at work!!

(just trying to inject some levity!)

you are GOING TO DO GREAT!