Thursday, August 30, 2007

Taper Pyschosis (TMI, Profanity Warning!!!)

Anyone else feel like a complete psycho during this taper thing?

This has been me the last 48 hours or so:

Oh man, I feel great. I'm one badass MF. Oh yeah, I will kick some major ass come Saturday. Watch. Out.

5 min. later
Holy, Shit! What was I thinking? I must have been on crack when I registered for this race. I'm such a loser. Why didn't I get on the bike more?

5 min. later.

Oooo. Tri Hubby. Hubba Hubba. Wink, wink. He is lookin' good.

30 min. later

Oh man, I really like this taper thing. I have sooo much energy!! Yep. Feelin' good, baby.

10 min. later

Who do I have to kill to get a bagel around here? I think I could eat my arm.

5 min. later.

I'm fat. I'm freakin' huge. I bet I won't even be able to get into my tri shorts. Damnit why did I have to eat a half a dozen bagels? Somebody shoot me, please!

5 min. later

I am going to shoot somebody. I need to run. I need to bike. If I have to sit here for one more minute, I swear to God my head is going to explode!!!!! I will physically maul the next person that rings that phone. So. Help. Me. God.

5 min. later

I need a nap. Maybe I could just crawl under my desk. ZZzzzzz.

5 min. later

Oh man, I feel great. I'm one badass MF. Oh yeah, I will kick some major ass come Saturday. Watch. Out.

And it goes on. Anyone else feel like this? Anyone? Anyone? Hello? Shit.


Bolder said...

um, no.

i just feel tired and heavy.

you'll be so ready on Saturday, you can already tell the rest is kickin' in!

greyhound said...

Nope. I feel great. I could kick my own ass.

As soon as I wake up from this nap.

But, damn, what is this roll of fat around my waist? Dude, mix in a salad and a stairclimber.

Shake yourself, Greyhound. Look at those abs in the mirrro. You're totally hawt. C'mere, Mrs. Greyhound.

What are you doing over here? **Yawn** Gawd I'm tired. Can't keep my eyes op . . . .


Jane said...

HaHa - so true! I feel the need to bike 30 more miles tonight and run 6 miles tomorrow. I ate steak twice this week and worrying that will be a bad idea. HOWEVER, I know I've done better after days of rest.

One of the coaches said that she had to quit racing b/c she absolutely when psycho when she had to take off days/taper and just could not!

Uhm, yeah - what were we thinking?!?!?!? I'm pretty sure we can do it. I just hope I don't embarass myself out there. Mine in on Labor Day actually, so you'll be sitting pretty and finished by then! Have to use my trusty old bike for this one, though. So I won't be going 24 mph....

Vickie said...

Since I always seem to be scrambling before any race I do, I don't think I've reached taperitis for a LONG time, but I have witnessed others in the same situation. Its normal. It will pass. You will have lots more energy come race day than you think. Just keep moving forward, no matter what. And GOOD LUCK! Will be waiting at the "finish line."

21stCenturyMom said...

Can't say as I have ever felt that way, exactly. I do make myself crazy with doubt but that's the result of failure to train. You have not failed to train. You will be fine. Settle down and enjoy this! It's your reward.

Danielle in Iowa said...

I get the phantom pains big time, as in:

Did I just sprain my diaphragm?

I know I have never had knee problems, but I swear my knee is clicking!

My IT band! It must be ready to snap!

No Wetsuit Girl... overseas! said...

Ummmmm... other than the feeling fat thing I can't really say I've felt like that. It was fun to read about, though.

Usually before a race I'm so overtrained (personal weakness - rest weeks are for pussies) that I just climb into bed and feel bad about myself for a couple of days. Then I go out, kick some ass, crawl back into bed and feel good about myself for several more days.

(You're probably doing the race At.This.Very.Second, so I'm sending speedy thoughts your way!)