Tuesday, November 13, 2007

For Claire

OK, ok, you're right. I take too long. It seems that things come in spurts for me lately - energy, exercise, inspiration, the ability to eat what's put in front of me without feeling the need to gag - stuff like that. So, I'll get a spurt and go nuts then go into hibernation for a bit. Obviously, I've been hibernating.

Hibernation mode totally sucks in the workout department - my body just begs for sleep and, if there's one thing I've learned in the last couple of months, its that listening to my body is not optional during pregnancy. My Drill Sergeant Beast has been sent to her cave for a long winters nap - but she still rolls over in her sleep on mornings like this when the alarm goes off and, instead of getting out of bed and putting on my running clothes, I roll over and set it for an hour later. Beast growls quietly in her den when I do that, imparting the tiniest bit of guilt to usher me back into slumber. But, the body rules right now and I have to trust its wisdom - it really gives me no choice. When my body rebels now, I end up on the floor, or nearly - there's just no arguing.

As for the writing - well, there's times when I just don't feel like I have it in me. At those times, it seems easier to close my eyes when I get a break at work, or peruse a collection of birth stories online, or daydream about what life with the baby will be like. Its not that you guys aren't important to me - you are - its just that, when I'm in "hibernation", it hurts a little to be reminded of where I was just a short time ago. Its hard to see what everyone else is doing and planning, races, training, goals, etc. So, when I'm away for awhile, I hope you understand that I'm just cocooning for a bit, gathering the strength to come back and visit this other life - the one that waits for me at the other end of childbirth, the one I left behind for awhile to complete this important, cosmic job before me.


21stCenturyMom said...

You are Trisarahtops ought to have a new Mom who longs for triathlon support group. She is just about to get clearance to run again but it's been hard for her. But she's just aboout to get clearance so it happens. Patience!

No Wetsuit Girl said...

For me?! Just for me?!

I didn't mean to peer pressure you. It's just... well... I missed you. I don't just read your blog because you're a kick-ass athlete, you know. I just like to know how you're doing, and I don't think I'm alone. So when something interesting happens, like Boy Wonder draws a cute picture, or Tri Hubby learns how to make Spam sushi, or you find a sale on baby formula and you buy it even though it's a bit too early for that, I'd like to hear about that too... if the mood ever strikes you in your cocoon, that is.